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Unlearning

by Cathartic Conundrum

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1.
Paz 03:59
Si yo Tuviera una cometa Yo cometería el error De soltarla al viento Si yo Tuviera un amuleto Yo cometería el error De perderlo Si yo Tuviera dinero Yo cometería el error De gastarlo todo Y contemplando mis errores Hipotéticos temblores Sigo en mis espirales Perpetuando malestares Quiero algo positivo Algo que tenga sentido Ya estoy harta de mis huecos Y de andar como un ekeko Quiero… Paz, Paz, Paz… Y respirar, y respirar… (×2) Si yo Yo tuviera alas No cometería el error De quedarme en mi sala Si yo Yo tengo sonrisas Y no cometeré el error De soltarlas en la brisa Si yo Yo tengo amor Y no cometeré el error De convertirlo en vapor Y contemplando mis errores Hipotéticos temblores Sigo en mis espirales Perpetuando malestares Quiero algo positivo Algo que tenga sentido Ya estoy harta de mis huecos Y de andar como un ekeko Quiero… Paz, Paz, Paz… Y respirar, y respirar… (×4) Words and music by Anaís Azul © 2019
2.
Decisions 03:28
She held my hand in a record store Tilted her sweet smile and swore That we’d listen to tunes for many many hours Just she and I for hours Then I wrote her a letter from several towns away Just to spill out words that would say “I’m really intense, are you sure that you want this? ...I’m not sure that I want this…” But since then she told me “Don’t be a fool! You just have a heart so full...I didn’t know” Since then we’d been more than friends Guess rules really do bend When you’re curious enough Decisions make me say That I just wanna sway Decisions make me pray… That I will be okay That I won’t run away That I will wanna stay. Before her I’d met someone Whom i’d never think to shun We met only once and wanted to get coffee But i was no longer free Yet We stargazed I told them that my life was one big maze I had this surprise I wanted to unravel, that slowly has unraveled But since then we’ve seen the moon full again We’ve seen that we’re fools when we are side by side Since then I’ve been mother hen trying to see the end of what my choices cause... Decisions make me say That I just wanna sway Decisions make me pray (and I don’t even pray) That I will be okay That I won’t run away That I will wanna stay. OOooooohs (((I don’t know))) Even though stories end Friendships tend to transcend Romances come and go Even then you will grow Find the past in the now And you will wonder how That was once so mundane How it caused so much pain Decisions make me say... Decisions make me pray… That I will be okay That I won’t run away That I will wanna stay Music and Lyrics by Anaís Azul © 2019
3.
Paying bills Does not fulfill The emptiness Inside your chest Take out loans That turn to moans And groans of pain That lead to shame I work hard all fucking day Waiting until it's time to get paid Get paid So silently I pave my path Cuz I know it's meant to last I will be a great success But right now I'm a mess I wanna day off... Everybody is in debt And you've already broken sweat Sacrificing family Sacrificing sanity I know I'm not the only one that wishes I could just have fun have fun Till then silently I pave my path Cuz I know it's meant to last I will be a great success But right now I'm a mess I wanna day off... Working 9 to 5 Working 9 to die From Dusk till dawn I'm always on I fall asleep to the sound of my beating heart And it's easier to quit than it is to start Like a shark it's swim or drown I work hard all fucking day I think it's time I took a break I wanna day off... Music and Lyrics by Anaís Azul and Mick Beth © 2019
4.
Reality Check Melodica Why’d you take my melodica?! Just an excuse to talk to ya To you… Or should I say uku-lately… I’ve been thinking about The way we laid beneath the stars without a doubt And how it’s now become a lie that makes me wanna shout That makes me wanna shout We only had one date And i was hoping it was fate I guess that I’d forgotten nothing’s written in stone Yet I long for second chances and dream of far romances Cuz all i ever wanted was your sweet warm hug… And life is simple You bust a pimple And you Leave a scar Cuz life is hard! Contradictions They line the fictions I’ve made in my mind I’ve made up in time… When I pretended I wasn’t waiting… I pretended I wasn’t waiting for you Instagram How instantly my heart of 21 grams Climbed out of the box in which it had been crammed And danced around in circles like a happy clam Oh the photograph Your caption of her silhouette sure made me laugh I'm sure that she’s a lovely girl and that you had a blast But all that I can say is “I don’t know if love lasts” Cuz times are always changing now my breathing’s rearranging The picture that you posted was a big exhale (((exhale))) Well it made me notice that my love is like a lotus Though it’s floating in the water it has got strong roots. And life is simple You bust a pimple And you Leave a scar Cuz life is hard! Contradictions They line the fictions I’ve made in my mind I’ve made up in time… When I pretended I wasn’t waiting… I pretended I wasn’t waiting for you When I pretended I wasn’t waiting… I pretended I wasn’t waiting for you Music and Lyrics by Anaís Azul © 2019
5.
True to Me 03:42
I wanna be true to me I wanna grow tall like a tree I wanna be true to me I wanna grow strong roots like a tree I wanna be, wanna be True to me, true to me I wanna be, true to me Like a tree with the roots in the ground I have found that's the best way to be With my two feet planted right below me Nurtured and constantly growing I wanna be (x2) True to me (x2) I wanna grow(x2) Roots like trees Strong as trees I wanna be true to me I wanna learn how to stand on my own two feet Even if I fall, I know I’ll fall free That’s all I’ll ever want, that’s all I’ll ever be True to me true to you, too True to the world, let’s start anew I’ve searched far and wide, I’ve searched high and low Now I’m ready to fly, so please let me goooooooo I wanna be(x2) true to me (x2) I wanna grow (x2) Tall as a sequoia tree Strong as a redwood tree Tall as the Andes that I came from Strong and free I wanna be (x2) True to me (x2) I wanna grow(x2) Roots like trees Strong as trees I wanna be true to meeeee I wanna grow roots deep like them trees I wanna be a tree That is my dream. But there is a beauty in having two feet And having roots that follow heartbeats But there is a beauty in having two feet And having roots that follow heartbeats

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released April 1, 2019

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Cathartic Conundrum Boston, Massachusetts

Cathartic Conundrum is a trio influenced by Latin rhythms, classical music, jazz harmony, poetic whimsy and surreality. Comprised of saxophone (Jesse Colford), percussion (Nicholas Samuel), piano, ukulele, and voice (Anaís Azul), use this diverse array of timbres, vivid imagery and lyrics (Spanish and English) to tell stories about mental health, queerness, existentialism, politics, and emotions. ... more

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